Why ‘Just Ignore It’ Is the Worst Advice We Keep Giving Parents”
- Mary Kerwin
- 16 hours ago
- 2 min read
You're toddler is having a complete meltdown - sobbing, tears, heaving chest and all. And it is loud!
And your mother, uncle, brother, father, neighbor, "well-meaning" friend says, “Just ignore it”.
“Just ignore it” is hands down the most overused—and least helpful—advice parents keep getting. It is as useful and outdated as "spare the rod and spoil the child".
Let’s break this down. When toddlers are melting down, they're not plotting your downfall. They're overwhelmed, and their developing brain doesn’t yet know how to regulate big emotions. So when we ignore them? We're not teaching them self-soothing—we’re teaching them they’re alone when they feel most out of control.
Would you ignore your best friend sobbing in a parking lot?Nope. You’d probably say, “I’m here. Breathe.” and give them a hug or something.
Toddlers need the same.
Now before you panic—this doesn’t mean you cater to every whimper or helicopter-hover over every big feeling.
Boundaries still matter. But empathy and co-regulation? That’s how you build emotional safety and cooperation.
The good news? You don’t need a degree in neuroscience to respond well. You need a few tools, a deep breath, and maybe a reminder that your kid is normal and you’re not the problem—your kid’s still-developing brain is.
That’s where my free Calm-Down Kit comes in. I made it for you. The real parent, with the real toddler, in the middle of the cereal aisle chaos.
So no, don’t “just ignore it.”Let’s do something that actually works.
👉
You’ve got this (and I’ve got your back).
Mary Kerwin is the coffee-fueled, mom-of-four, grandma of two, former early-childhood teacher. She's the brains behind Confident Families, where she helps moms of toddlers turn chaos into calm, with a touch of sarcasm. (Because a mom without a sense of humor is like an accountant who can add)
Check her out on Instagram @ConfidentFamilies and join the fun on Facebook.
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