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A Cautionary Tale

Good citizens all over this fair city (New York) have been setting up and planting green spaces to make life more beautiful. I, being born and raised in this concrete jungle, don't actually have an affection for gardening - but I can appreciate the time and effort it entails, and the beauty that stems from that time and effort.

This spring, a woman in my building, decided to beautify two of those spaces - one surrounding a tree, and the

other a little fenced in area next to the building that was mostly used as a dumping ground. (Stay with me. This is a long and winding road with a purpose. It really does connect to building confidence in kids.)

Fast forward to now. Almost every morning, I am treated

to a screaming match between this woman and anyone who comes near her green space -- delivery trucks that are parked and block the sun, anyone who leans on, or rests something, on the fence - literally anyone or anything near her garden causes her to "lose it". She's rude, vulgar, aggressive, and mostly unreasonable in her efforts to protect this little green space. Mind you, this garden is on a city street -- that is next to a garage -- and is also a bus route -- and has major construction all around it. And these guys are just trying to do their job.

What started off as an attempt to add some beauty into people's lives has disintegrated into something that wreaks havoc. She lost sight of her original intention.

So, here's where I connect this to confidence in kids:

There are so many times that we lose sight of what our intentions are when it comes to our kids.

There are so many things to worry about - school, grades, bullies, the world around. We get caught up in this worry and want to shield our kids from any hurts or evils - real or imagined.

The truth of the matter is that we can't.

Stuff happens.

Kids make mistakes. They don't study. They fall. They make bad choices. They get teased. They are left out. They have bad days, weeks, months.

Except in serious cases, they don't need us to step in and fix everything. What they do need are the tools to build resiliency and grit, to pick themselves up from their failures, mistakes, and bad choices. And try again. And for us to be there for them.


Having a hard time knowing

...what to say... and what not to say?

...when to step in and when to sit back? to build confidence in your child?

Join our:

Confident Parents Now: Wisdom and Support Group

Because a confident kid needs a confident parent.

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