Books, A Box, And Bubble Wrap
- Mary Kerwin
- Apr 5
- 4 min read
It was story time in the children's library at Jefferson Market and all the littles were on their sitting intently listening to the story - all except one.
I watched as his mom, phone in one hand, frantically googling "toddler won't sit still for books" while her little one happily tore through the stacks, pulling out colorful covers that caught his eye. The irony wasn't lost on me – this child was showing her mother exactly how he wanted to interact with books, while mom was searching for an expert to explain what was "wrong."
After 40+ years in Early Childhood education, raising four children of my own, and now helping care for my toddler grandchildren, I've come to appreciate Gertrude Stein's wisdom:
"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."
I doubt it.
The parenting advice industry has exploded. Books, blogs, Instagram experts, TikTok videos, Facebook groups, and apps all promise to solve every challenge. And let's not forget the well-meaning relatives, friends, and complete strangers who believe their opinion on your parenting is absolutely necessary for your child's wellbeing.🙄
When Expert Advice Cancels Itself Out
Here's what's so exasperating: so much of this information contradicts itself. Sleep training or attachment parenting? Screen time or no screens? Montessori or play-based? Redirect tantrums or validate feelings? Time-outs or time-ins?
With each new study hitting your feed, yesterday's "essential" advice becomes today's "harmful practice." The "trauma" of tomorrow. No wonder moms feel perpetually bewildered and inadequate.
I remember standing in a bookstore bleary-eyed and exhausted from sleep deprivation after my first child was born, scouring different baby books looking through the myriad of advice on sleep schedules only to find that no one seemed to agree.
The overwhelm was so real I nearly burst into tears right there between "Parenting" and "Self-Help." (The irony of those sections being adjacent has never been lost on me.🫤) And that was before Google!
Your Inner Wisdom Is Getting Drowned Out
The worst consequence I see?
Moms who no longer trust themselves.
That constant stream of information has a nasty side effect – it drowns out your intuition. The quiet voice that actually knows your unique child better than any expert possibly could.
I've seen countless moms in my coaching practice who can't make a simple decision without consulting multiple sources.
When to toilet train.
How to get their little one to eat.
Pacifier or not.
If their child's developmental timeline is "on track."
Their natural confidence has been eroded by information overload.
Reclaiming Your Common Sense
So how do we find our way back to our innate parenting wisdom? I've learned a few things about filtering the noise:
First, recognize that perfect parenting is a myth created to sell products and generate clicks. The parents I've seen raise the most resilient, happy children are the ones who prioritized connection over perfection.
Second, know that simplicity almost always wins with toddlers. Basic rhythms, consistent boundaries, plenty of play, and abundant love create the conditions for thriving. Everything else is just details.
Third, try this radical idea: when you're feeling overwhelmed by advice, put down your phone. Close the laptop. Walk away from the parenting books. Spend 30 uninterrupted minutes just observing your child. What makes them light up? What soothes them? Their behaviors contain most of the answers you're frantically searching for online.
I’m not suggesting we disregard genuine expertise, nor am I saying we should skip support or help altogether. Research in child development has given us valuable insights, and let’s face it, parenting isn’t a go-it-alone adventure. But what the studies consistently show is that sensitive, responsive caregiving—rather than perfectly optimized parenting techniques—is what children need most. And, with all the extra responsibilities that come with raising kids, we all need support at some point.
The Freedom of "Good Enough"
One of my favorite moments came recently when speaking to a client, who was laughing through frustration. "I just spent an hour researching sensory activities for rainy days, and then found Max perfectly happy playing with an empty Amazon box and bubble wrap."
The take-away is something I've been saying for years: children have a way of telling us what they need - if we are open to listen.
Our job isn't to micromanage their development or follow a "perfect parenting" formula. It's to create safe spaces for exploration, respond to their cues, and trust that the parent-child relationship itself – not "expert-approved" activities, sensory boxes, or techniques – Connection is the true foundation for growth.
When information overwhelms you, remember this: You've been listening to experts who've never met your child. Meanwhile, the world's leading experts on your toddler are right in front of you.
Your child. Your instincts. Your common sense.
These will guide you better than a million parenting articles ever could. (Ah! The irony of writing this in a parenting blog.)
And as Ms. Stein might have added if she were raising toddlers today: Sometimes you just have to do you.
So, put down the phone and pick up your instincts. Reconnect with your intuition.
If you’ve ever Googled 'am I doing this right?'—you need this.
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